Restlessness
For the most part, I am a fairly laid-back person. I am not fond of work or busyness in any way, shape, or form. If I am forced by outside obligations to be in constant motion, I become chronically bitchy and generally unpleasant to be around.
The problem is this: When I finally get my space and my time back -- for example, when school's out for the summer -- I don't know what to do with it. Even if there' s not very much empty space, I set about immediately trying to fill it with things. I am a slave, perhaps, to being a slave. I fear that I may, like some poor, broken circus critter, have come to like my cage.
So, I'm thinking I might just leave the country. Or the state. Or the planet. Move to some lazy place where the cable programming is interesting and/or colorful enough to watch 24 hours a day.
This "rattle" besets me from time to time, and I rarely do anything about it. I want to tell my husband we're gonna buy a conversion van, change our names (and the dog's), and blow this popsicle stand, but where to go?
Maybe to the bar. Ladies' night! Free beer for me!! Woo Hoo!!! Sometimes the postmodern life calls for a postmodern cocktail. I wonder what that might be... the malt beverage, perhaps?
So, what causes this, does this happen to anyone else, and what in the HELL do you do about it?
posted by Becky P. @ 8:10:00 PM
2 comments
2 Comments:
maybe you're just a "doer"? there are "do-ers" and "be-ers" in this world, and we need a good dose of both. i think i'm a "do-er" with "be-er" tendancies (mmmm, beer). so i too struggle. usually when i go on vacation, i want to know that i have things to do, options, but that i can choose whether or not i actually want to do them, and i can take my time & enjoy what i'm doing.
last summer, my hubby and i "blew the popsicle stand", blew our savings and went to Boston for a week. it was great. we'd never been there, we stayed with friends and saw a lot of great stuff. i have an aunt in San Diego, and i would love to go and do that by myself. ahhh wine country, how i love thee. nothing like a whole day of sipping wine and absorbing beautiful country.
ok, this long post is to say one thing: stop and smell the roses. enjoy what you have, when you have it. it doesnt make you a slave to anyone!
Ahhh yes, the time when time returns to thee. And we all chase it away with appointments, going out, helping people out, birthday parties for some little rugrats who don't know how to say "please" and "thank you". No, I've never been there (hehe).
I have often wondered what it would be like to be bored, actually BORED, on my days off. I have yet to discover this feeling. I hear people discuss this idea, I have even seen people practicing it, so I know that it exists. I guess it is my chase to pursue. Oh well. At least it is another thing to add to my ever burgeoning list of things to do. (Would that be counter-productive, to add "get bored" to an actual list of things to do?)
Anyway, yes, I have been there. And occasionally a free cocktail can help the feeling go away, at least for the mean time. Otherwise, a meaningless day of shutting off the phones, hiding the pens and paper (and laptops), and pretending the world doesn't exist would work. If only we remembered to shut off the cell phones. Damn those evil people who don't know to leave enough alone! I kid.
Amanda :)
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